How do I begin 30 day trial offline?

I have win 8 64bit that runs all my machines. It has never been updated and has no anti virus. It has never been online and it never will be. I’m really frustrated and have googled the heck out of it.
How do I begin the 30 day trial?

There is no offline activation for trial.

Look here for a reference:

Perhaps you can install the trial to a dedicated online system. And not certain but perhaps you could install to a USB Linux install so you’re not affecting any of your installed systems;

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